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"angst" and the 'Mysterious Lady' - an artistic expression of my alter ego

At first, I was not sure who the lady was or what she was trying to convey … but I quickly sensed through the creative process that this piece represents that part of my alter-ego that is sometimes afraid of what lies ahead. My feelings of uncertainty are perfectly natural given my physical circumstances, but I really don’t express them much because I have a tough exterior. Army tough. Art meets life meets the subconscioius. When I cannot adequately express my feelings or what goes on inside … the medium of digital art allows me to do it unapologetically.

What do you see when you look at this piece? Is it the eyes, the hands the lips? All those things more readily visible if you look for them. Is it the abstract mask removed from her face featuring her eyes and nose more prominently but tipped on it’s side? That is there too if you can find your way to it. She removes the mask and reveals that person deep inside. What about the scribbles on her lips, coming out of her mouth? As if she does not know how to express what she wants to. This piece is my modern interpretation which shares elements of both chaos and order. Something that I won’t be able to reproduce.

I live in a physical world of chronic illness that is uncertain and changing all the time. Add age-related health issues that arise as I approach mid-50’s along with a world of autoimmune illnesses and you get the mysterious lady in a state of angst and worry. I recognize this part of me and combat those dark moments with feelings of faith and temperance with expression to the outer world. Faith in Jesus finds this woman inside of me and tells her it will be “ok”. It tells me I’ve “got this” with the grace of God.

I don’t think I’ve yet to create something that was so telling and expressive in exposing those vulnerable layers beneath the surface. My art has truly become therapeutic and again becomes a benefactor and giver of wisdom as it leads me on the path of more self-discovery. Art is truly God’s gift to me.

 She is the expression of my alter ego that lives in uncertainty at times feeling fully human.

She is the expression of my alter ego that lives in uncertainty at times feeling fully human.

 “angst” 90x60 inches

“angst” 90x60 inches